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Adamec, Christine. When Your Pet Dies: Dealing with Your Grief and Helping Your Children Cope. New York, N.Y.: Berkley Books, 1996.
A book which acknowledges the grief felt when a pet dies, emphasising the fact that the feelings are often the same as for a human death. There is a chapter on helping children cope, as well as discussions on euthanasia and caring for your pet after its death.
PET
Alexander, Helen. Bereavement: a Shared Experience. Oxford, U.K.: Lion, 1993.
This book contains first person experiences with grief. One chapter Everyone Can Feel Loss deals with an aspect of grief not often discussed, the grief experience of those with impaired mental capabilities. This book is written from a Christian perspective.
Bereaved Children and Teens: a Support Guide for Parents and Professionals. Ed. Earl A. Grollman. Boston, Mass.: Beacon Press, 1995.
A brilliant easy-to-read guide, which is divided into sections: Death and Development; Relationships; Cultural, Philosophical and Religious Perspectives on Death and Children; Treatment and Therapies. Each chapter is written by an expert in the field. A good starting point.
Bertoia, Judi. Drawings from a Dying Child: Insights into Death from a Jungian Perspective. London, U.K.: Routledge, 1993.
This book follows the story of Rachel, terminally ill with leukaemia. The author interprets Rachel's drawings and discusses the situation around which each one was drawn. By this method it can be seen that Rachel had achieved a measure of peace and was ready to die.
Beyond the Innocence of Childhood. 3 Volumes. Edited by David W. Adams and Eleanor J. Deveau. Amityville, N.Y.: Baywood Publishing, 1995.
This three-volume set is designed for the professional working with bereaved children and teenagers, specifically educators and medical professionals. Each volume has a different theme.
Volume 1: Factors Influencing Children and Adolescents' Perceptions and Attitudes Towards Death.
This volume focuses upon the issue of death as a topic for discussion with children and adolescents. It includes chapters on: Gender Differences in Children's Understanding of Death; Perceptions of Death Through the Eyes of Children and Adolescents; Appetite for Destruction: Children and Violent Death in Popular Culture; AIDS and Our Children; Do Children Belong at Funerals?
Volume 2: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Life-Threatening Illness and Death.
In Part A topics focus on different forms of therapy, including: art; music; play; story and active imagination; humour and laughter; pets and camps. Topics discussed in Part B include: palliative care; the impact of the hospital system; lessons on living; imagery; truth-telling; spirituality; developing a children's hospice.
Volume 3: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Death and Bereavement.
Topics discussed in this volume include: anticipatory grief; the effects of sibling death; the impact of parental death; AIDS; the aftermath of suicide; domestic violence; the death of a classmate; group intervention; adolescent grief support groups.
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Chadwick, Ann. Living with Grief in School: Guidance for Primary School Teachers and Staff. Biggin Hill, U.K.: Family Reading Centre, 1994.
This book includes discussions on: Death of a Staff Member; Death of a Pupil; Multiple Loss in the School; and; Effects on the Child. The best advice contained in the book is: [t]he key is not to divert children from grief but to acknowledge its validity and encourage them that one day they won't feel as sad as they do now.
Children Mourning, Mourning Children. Edited by Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D. Washington, Washington D.C.: Hospice Foundation of America, 1995.
A collection of essays designed for those working with children and families during a bereavement. The book is divided into four sections: The Child's Perspective of Death; The Child's Response to Life-Threatening Illness; Children Mourning, Mourning Children; and Innovative Research. A good starting point for professionals seeking information on this topic.
Coloroso, Barbara. Parenting With Wit and Wisdom in Times of Chaos and Loss. Toronto, Ont.: Viking, 1999.
An easy-to-read parenting guide that focuses on such stressful occasions as: illness; death; divorce; and children-caused mayhem. Each section is subdivided into advice for each age group. Coloroso's watchword is The T.A.O. of Family, standing for Time, Affection and Optimism.
Duffy, Wendy. Children and Bereavement. London, U.K.: National Society and Church House Publishing, 1995.
An excellent guide for adults seeking to learn how to help grieving children. It includes chapters on: Children's Perceptions of Death; Stages of Grief; Exploring People's Needs; Terminal Illness; Sudden Death. The book also includes a chapter entitled Where is God? and an Appendix of Prayers and Readings. The Christian background of the author does not unnecessarily intrude into the body of the book.
Fitzgerald, Helen. The Grieving Child: a Parent's Guide. New York, N.Y.: Fireside, 1992.
A good book for helping children through the grief process. The introduction emphasises that parents may not be able to read the whole book in the beginning, but that they should try to read those topics that concern them first. The author bases her knowledge on her experiences in life and as a therapist. A practical guide, including behaviours to be concerned about. It is well worth visiting before a death occurs in order to prepare children in the event of a death.
Gatenby, Bev. For the Rest of Our Lives: After the Death of a Child. Auckland, N.Z.: Reed, 1998
New Zealand
A New Zealand guide which discusses both Paheka and Maori situations. The information is based upon interviews with bereaved parents and the author's own experiences. The children range from eight hours to 26 years. Chapters include: Grieving: What Does it Feel Like; Ways of Thinking About Death; Our Words, Our Stories; Grief, Relationships and Support; Children and Grief; Spirituality; Rituals; For the Rest of Our Lives. It also includes further reading and organisations. The latter is extremely valuable as it is one of the few lists of New Zealand based organisations.
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Glassock, Geoffrey T. and Louise Rowling. Learning to Grieve: Life Skills for Coping with Loss for High School Students. Newton, NSW: Millennium Books, 1992.
Australian
This book is designed for teachers as a classroom resource. It is divided into two sections, one for 12 to 15 years and the other for 16 to 17 years. Each section is divided into units and each unit into separate lessons. In the first section the units are: Loss and Change; The Impact of Death; Exploring Your Own Death; Grief Support. In the second sections the above topics are included as well as The Big Questions. This is a valuable classroom resource.
Grollman, Earl A., illustrated by Susan Avishai. Talking About Death: a Dialogue between Parent and Child. 3rd Edition. Boston, Mass.: Beacon Press, 1990.
A revised and updated version of a classic text. The Introduction offers basic advice. The next chapter is a Children's Read-Along, a simple text with beautiful pencil-line drawings of many cultures, which is designed to be read along with a child. This is followed by chapters expanding on the issues raised in the Children's Read-Along section. It also includes Coping with Adult Grief.
Grollman, Earl A. When Your Loved One is Dying. Boston, Mass.: Beacon Press, 1980.
A book of few words but with lots of straightforward advice and comfort. It offers a way to help understand what a dying person needs, and also help for maintaining the rest of the family's emotional health. Chapters include: Impact and Grief - Your Needs When Your Loved One is Dying; Terminal Candor - To Tell the Truth?; Your Loved One's Needs; Your Children's Needs; Final Settings - Where to Die?; Helping Yourself; Helping Your Loved One; Helping Each Other.
Hosking, Bruce. Loss, Grief and Grief Resolution: a Source Book for Trainers and Tutors. Hamilton, N.Z.: Centre for Continuing Education, University of Waikato, 1985.
New Zealand
This book is a collection of material used to inform and teach adults about grief and bereavement counselling. Especially valuable is Section IV on Pouri Te Turi Maori. Most sections include case studies and/or exercises. Section III The Grief Process discusses various models of grief, including that of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Section XI Children Grieving is important for this bibliography. Other discussions include: Grief in Terminal Illness; Grief in Marriage Separation; Grief and Sexuality. Section XVI Other Special Circumstances includes: miscarriage; abortion; stillbirth; neonatal death; birth of a defective or handicapped child; rape as loss; the griefs of growing old.
Hughes, Jeremie. Questions Children Ask. Tring, U.K.: Lion, 1981.
Answers to some tricky questions asked by children, answered in a Christian manner. Chapters are: Questions About God; Questions About Death and Suffering; Questions About Heaven; Questions About the World; Questions About Sex and Family Life.
Jarratt, Claudia Jewett. Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss. Revised edition. Boston, Mass.: Harvard Common Press, 1994.
This book offers advice for parents, counsellors, teachers and other adults, to help them guide children through difficult passages, including death, divorce, moving and more. Chapters are: Telling Children About Loss; Helping Children Face Change; Understanding and Supporting Grief; Facilitating the Grief Process; Responding to Problems of Self-Esteem and Control; Looking Back, Letting Go, and Moving On. This is one of the more important texts for this subject area.
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